By Cedar Hobbs
The busy courtroom life of a ninetiessurf-star…
The founder of RVCA, professional surfer, and member ofthe Momentum generation was charged with grand theft by theOrange County District Attorney in 2015.
Read, Just in: Felony ArrestWarrant for Conan Hayes.
The DA alleged that Hayes had committed short sale fraud againstthe Bank of America “by providing Bank of America with falseinformation concerning his financial net worth, which was in themillions of dollars, in order to qualify for short salerelief.”
Hayes allegedly had hidden the offense by falsely claiming thathe was unemployed and feared foreclosure, while, according to thecomplaint, “he had within the past nine months, sold his interestin a business for approximately $8,000,000 and had purchased a$1.39 million house in Los Angeles County for cash.”
The complaint further alleged that Bank of America discoveredthe offense in 2011 “by means of a report by Patrick Tenore Sr. toBank of America.”
Odd, considering Pat Tenore Sr. is the father of RVCA co-founderand Hayes’ former business partner, Pat Tenore. Even weirderconsidering that Hayes had just allegedly sold his interest “in abusiness for approximately $8,000,000.”
So, according to the Orange County DA, Bank of Americadiscovered the alleged offense through a report to the bank fromPatrick Tenore Sr. not long after Hayes had sold his interest in abusiness.
The charges were later dropped in July of 2017 among a myriad ofscandals following the prosecution.
According to the OC Weekly, in prosecuting Hayes, MeganWagner, now Judge Megan Wagner, had illegally obtained Hayes’ taxfilings without a court order and failed to submit relevantdocuments in discovery.
Hayes is currently being sued in the Los Angeles County SuperiorCourt for alleged breach of contract and fraud stemming from a homerenovation project.
The plaintiff, a contractor, alleged that Hayes refused to paythe amount stipulated by the original agreement and committed fraudthrough misrepresenting himself as an owner.
The contractor is seeking over $300,000 in damages from Hayesand additional defendants. The case is ongoing.
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By Chas Smith
Get learnt!
It is extremely difficult to keep secrets inour modern internet age, see Jeff Epstein, but the ancient art oflongboarding has kept itself shaded. Nuances and tips handed down,orally, from older semi-broken father to son no able or willing tosurf a proper board.
Joel Tudor plying his trade in darkness.
Well, no longer as Austrian energy drink manufacturer Red Bullhas just published the entire run of show in its just released“How to LongboardSurf: An In-Depth Guide.”
Tears rolling down salt-crusted cheeks from Cardiff-by-the-Seato Byron, Australia.
A way of life vanished.
But let’s learn, real quick, how to longboard surf.
What exactly do you need in order tolongboard?
Just a few things, really…A swimsuit or wetsuit (dependingon water temp), fin(s) for the board, surf wax, leg leash,sunscreen, and of course, a longboard. You can purchase most ofthese items from most surf shops.
Where do you go to longboard surf?
It is definitely true that there are surf breaks more suitedfor longboarding, and others that are not. The ones that are not:break quickly, hard, and in shallow water. Like Pipeline, forinstance.
How to longboard surf?
As this is a “how to longboard surf” as opposed to “how tosurf at all,” we’re assuming you know the bare-basics. Asin—paddling and popping up to stand on your board. Both of thesethings can be practiced on dry land, by the way, to refresh. Thegreat thing about longboard surfing (as opposed to other, shortersurfboards), is that they’re far easier to balance on andride.
Tears rolling down Joel Tudor’s cheeks.
All laid bare.
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By Chas Smith
Vindication for Laird.
Three years ago, to the day-ish, famouswaterperson Laird Hamilton was stopped in his Malibu by celebritynews gatherer TMZ and asked about shark attacks. The one-timesurfer responded that more people are killed by soda machines thanbitten by sharks, adding, “The main reason to be bitten is a womanwith her period. People don’t really think about that. Obviously ifa woman has her period there’s a certain amount of blood in thewater…”
Condemnation was swift from actress Lena Dunham, the NationalOrganization of Women and scientists as Hamilton’s statement had nobasis in observable fact.
Until yesterday when a group of surfers were out at Pacifica,very near San Francisco, when an eight-foot Great White Sharkbypassed a “cluster” of men and made a beeline for the lonefemale.
According to BevanBell, who was out amongst it, “I saw this big grayshape, just under the surface of the water, and that top fin, andthe big shark went directly under her. The length of that suckerwas like 8 feet. It went right towards her, and as the wave liftedher up [on her board], it literally went right under her.”
Bell also said that he was yelling at her to pull her legs outof the water, but she didn’t understand what he was saying.
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, am I right?
In any case, it is unclear if menstruation was a factor or notbut it can be certain that Laird Hamilton is sitting in his Malibucompound right now, maybe in an ice bath, drinking an invigoratingcup of coffee mixed with his eponymous SuperFood Creamer.
Feeling good about his big brain.
Chatting with Lena about stuff.
#LiveLikeLaird
Also, how do you feel about the name “Bevan?”
Yay or Nay?
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By DerekRielly
Secrets revealed?
Last week, I spent one fascinating hour examining thenew military-grade crankshaft tourniquets of Mr Jon Cohen, theemergency department doctor who has made it his business to stemthe death rate from Great White shark attacks inAustralia.
His new shark bite kits are a work of art.
Rip it open, pour the calico package onto the sand, it unfurls,the instructions are printed on the fabric and out spills thecrank-shaft tourniquet, a smaller SWAT version you can keep in yourwetsuit, as well as plastic gloves, and various pads for mopping upthe expected torrent of blood.
Jon lives in Sydney most of the year but spends a little timeeach year in the ED of Esperance Hospital in south-west Australia,a town reeling from recent multiple attacks by Great Whites.
Seventeen-year-old surfer LaeticiaBrouwer, killed; SeanPollard, a surfer, left arm and right hand gone;GaryJohnson, hit by a White as soon as he dived into thewater to set his anchor, killed.
Jon knows hits by Great Whites in Esperance are a newreality.
“I know some guys who were in the ED that day (Laeticia Brouwerwas killed) and it was a traumatic experience to manage. Cases likethat are preventable deaths. People can act on the beach if they’rethere when it happens. It might be scary to talk about but it’sreassuring to know that there is something you can do and it’s notcomplicated.”
He doesn’t have, or won’t share, any opinion concerningsolutions to a growing population but he does have a solutionpost-hit. His goal is to have a shark bite kit at all the mainbeaches, and he runs regular classes on what to do if a White takesa limb.
His kits even include a sticker to put on your car to showyou’re packing a tourniquet and the skills to staunch a wound.
Esperance has become such a byword for Great Whites, theDiscovery Channel brought a New York-based marine biologist, DrCraig O’Connell, to the isolated town to film a documentaryexploring the peculiarly aggressive nature of Esperance’s GreatWhites.
All this went down before the hail of attacks by Great Whites onAustralia’s North and Mid-North Coasts, including two fatalities,and a handful ofnear-misses, all within three months.
The film, called Lair of the Great White, made forDiscovery’s Shark Week, investigates “why a population of greatwhites off the coast of Western Australia is so much moreaggressive than others”.
O’Connell and his film crew only used a cage to get to theseabed and back to the boat. After that it was balls to the wall,so to speak.
“Once we were on the sea floor, we had a bunch of scientifictasks that we had to accomplish and a lot of those required us toget outside of the cage. We can use the caves and the crevices as away to keep a nice ledge to our backs so the sharks can’t come frombehind,” he said.
Any secrets revealed?
Only that the joint hosts a Great White nursery.
Reassuring?
(Watch here, althoughy’gonna need the keys to a TV-sub service.)
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By Chas Smith
"Guided by a desire for appeasem*nt..."
The word has shifted a few more degrees closerto what scientists call “complete upside-down-ness” when, lastweekend, two women sunbathing topless on a French beach (fairebriller les balises de la liberté in the local tongue) were askedto cover up as they were offending a nearby family.
Shock and outrage spread through the nation with the interiorminister weighing in, “It was wrong that the women were warnedabout their clothing. Freedom is something precious.”
It was once made illegal in several French towns to wear thefull-body covering “Burkini.”
The police officers, fearing for their lives, released thefollowing statement, “Guided by a desire for appeasem*nt, thepolice asked the people concerned if they would agree to covertheir chest after they explained the reason for theirapproach.”
“Guided by a desire for appeasem*nt” is the country’s unofficialanthem.
The bikini happened to be invented in France, 75-years ago,though many opt for the “monokini” or bottoms alone.
Gazing at monokinis on the beach has long been sport forprofessional surfers traveling to Europe from the more prudishUnited States of America with looks of wide-eyed amazementfeaturing in many of our best films.
It appears that no further action will be taken, momentarilyrelieving scientists who don’t know the full consequences ofreaching “complete upside-down-ness.” There is worry Kelly Slatermight want to become Sal Masekela’s best friend in the whole wideworld but be regularly sent to voicemail and other such mindimploding business.
People menacing and eating sharks in the water etc.
Very off-putting.
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